Ode to a Jackhammer

Hammer of morning,

Failing to keep any kind of steady rhythm,

Your sporadic throbbing, although outside,

Has found its way into my head.

Although it pleases me that you are across the alley,

And not outside my window,

Has it occurred to you that alarm clocks,

Belong inside your room with snooze buttons?

Aquaman 1, Hulk 0

I have figured out how to take down one of the most dangerous persons in the Marvel Universe.

The Incredible Hulk gets more powerful the more angry he gets, getting stronger and even healing. So what is the opposite of being angry? It's being happy. And what makes you happy? Eating pie! Seriously, when was the last time you saw someone get angry about eating some pie? Everyone loves pie.

So what you need to do is stock the Hulk's fridge with delicious pies, preferably the cream cheese kind, and keep it filled, and he will be very happy and eventually die from too much pie. In twenty or thirty years.

It's okay to joke about this, right? No one's ever actually died from pie, right?

New York Con

Fun weekend.

I got a call from Hawkman that a bunch of the Justice League was going to go down to the New York Comic Con and meet fans, sign autographs and stuff. The place was pretty hard to find, down at the Brunswick convention center. I'd never heard of it. The place was packed with cosplayers doing a bowling thing. They were really dedicated.

Anyway, none of the other guys showed up, not even Hawkman who gave me the directions. I guess maybe I got there during the bowling cosplay event, because the whole Brunswick convention center was made up like a bowling alley. I did get to take pictures with a couple of the cosplayers, though.

I checked around online after I got home and saw that the Justice League guys had pictures up of their weekend, but they were someplace else. Like they got the wrong place and just stayed there anyway. That's hilarious.

Some people

I started a thing on Twitter. It would be nice to be able to find some friends to talk to. I can talk to fish, but they never have anything good to talk about. Once you chat about eating food and trying not to be eaten as food the conversation has usually run its course.

I tried to call Batman to talk for a bit, just to catch up on things and see how he's doing, but it said that I had a wrong number. I guess Batman changed his phone number and forgot to tell me. Superman's number isn't working, either, and the Flash still hasn't told me his new phone number. Boy, a lot of people on the Justice League are having phone problems, I'm sure glad my phone is still working.

Some people* have wondered how I am able to blog and twitter while under the sea. It's a pretty simple process. I put my laptop and cell phone inside a Yellow-and-Green-make-Blue ziplock baggie while I'm in the ocean. The trick is to make sure there's no air inside the bag so that your phone doesn't float away. It works pretty well, but I still haven't found a way to make it work with an MP3 player and headphones. The Apple Store doesn't let me return my iPods because they "stopped working when it was really humid outside" anymore.

*Some people: Okay, no one actually wondered about it, but if I had friends I bet they would have.

A moment's hesitation.

Nuts. I just realized that I have nothing important to say. Story of my life.